Carol Monroe's Diary

My name is Carol Monroe and I am in Desiree's VTP class that began on July 19, 2006. This is my journal about my experiences during the training program. I hope you enjoy it.


:: January 18, 2007 ::

My last class was last night. We found out about so many neat opportunities we will have through AssistU. They are so supportive and make it easy for us to succeed. I am going to apply for the mentoring program, and will definitely sign up for the registry. And after my final exam I will have more time to be involved in the portal and in refining my business plan and marketing materials. February is my busiest month of the year at my daytime job, and when that is over it will be the perfect time to really focus on my VA business. I am sad that class is over, but we will all stay in touch and support each other as we begin our new careers. The final exam is the weekend of February 2 - an auspicious date for me - it is my oldest granddaughter's 14th birthday! She heralded a huge change in my life, and the final exam for AssistU will herald another. And I'm off to the future!.

Only one more class to go, and then the final exam is Groundhog Day weekend. I am sad that it is over already. In some ways it seems like it has been going forever, and in some ways it has gone by so quickly. I feel like I am a different person living in a different world from last July when I began this journey. It has truly been life-changing. I am so thankful to my friend Laura Allen for telling me about AssistU and the VTP, and do grateful to have had the opportunity to participate in it. And I'm thankful to my wonderful buddy, Kim Murray, who has been in my corner and there when I needed a little nudge or encouragement. What great people are involved with this organization! It is hard for me to believe that anyone could go through this program and decide not to pursue this fabulous career. I can barely contain myself until I can have a full-time practice.

Where did last year go? I can't believe it is January already and my next class is tomorrow night. It will be so good to be back in class - I've missed everyone.

I have had a real revelation the last few days since being back from Texas. I realized my intense loyalty to my employer is not serving me at all, and that it is not reciprocated or rewarded, but expected. It has cemented my decision to become a full time VA as soon as it is possible financially for me to do so. And wonder of wonders - once I made this decision, I have gotten a new lease on life - I am excited about the future and all the possibilities open to me to create my life the way I really want it to be.

The personality tests we took this week were very good too. I had done some of them before - I love these things - but some of them were new to me. They all reinforced my plan to become the best VA I can be, as soon as I can do it. That was so affirming! I continually marvel at the VTP and the tools they show us, and how the timing is perfect in my life for them.

I am leaving on Tuesday for a week in Texas to celebrate my mom's eighty-fifth birthday with her and my brother and sister and their families. She is still very bright mentally and her physical problems are under control, but one never knows how long that will be the case, so we decided this was the birthday we needed to make really special. I am looking forward to seeing them all but dreading flying over the holidays. And it is using all my vacation time so I won't have any time off at all. I know I will be really glad that I did it though - it is about emotional self care - something I might not have given myself permission for before AssistU.

My marketing materials are due tomorrow night. I have put a lot of thought and effort into them and I think the ideas are good. It will take me a little time to get the brochure and flyer polished and ready to go. Overall I do feel good about them.

The class work this week was about my standards and who I want to work with. This is so fabulous - it really made me think about people I have worked with in the past, and I realize I can choose not to do that as a VA. How exciting is that! I am going to incorporate some of this into my expanded business plan.

Desiree was so supportive and encouraging in her feedback on my marketing plan and my homework. It is so terrific to have feedback from someone who really knows what they are talking about because they are actually making a living as a VA. I am continually amazed and delighted with everything I am learning and all the resources available to me through the VTP.

I can't believe this is my last class before Christmas. I am so looking forward to a break to work on my business plan and marketing materials some more. And to take some time for me to just relax. In some ways I wish we had finished classes before the holidays -but it will be great to have a break too.

At work, we had visitors from out of town for the last four days so I didn't get a weekend at all. I really like to have that time for my reading and class, but it didn't happen. It felt so good to do the assignment about partnerships and projects and piecework. It is making it more and more real. I am so thankful that the VTP really delves into topics like this and makes me think about what I want my business to look like and what kind of clients I want to have. It will help me be more successful as a result.

I also really appreciate AssistU for their ethical standards. It is vitally important for me to work with people who have high ethical standards, and I have quit jobs before because I was told to do things I believed were unethical. How refreshing to find an organization that realizes how important this is and says so. I am so thankful to have opportunity to be a part of it!

Well, I got my feedback on my business plan. Desiree was absolutely right on target - I did enough to get by but it can (and will) be so much better. I knew I was vague because of vacillating about staying in my current job longer to collect the severance package.
She gave me some excellent feedback about areas to improve upon, and I will do that.
All in all it was an invaluable exercise and the feedback is tremendously helpful. It really made me think about the nitty-gritty of running my own VA business.

I turned in my business plan Wednesday night. It was not nearly as good as I wanted it to be, and I am disappointed with myself that I didn't begin the actual writing much sooner. There is so much more I want to put into it, and make it a really good outline for my business. Part of the problem I had was figuring out how to get from here to there. I am single and don't have the savings to quit my job and go into full time VA practice, so I had to estimate how long and how many VA clients it would take for me to be able to save enough to quit my day job. Part of the equation is that my job will likely end in 12-18 months, and they have promised us a bonus of 6 months salary if we stay until the office is moved out of state. That would give me a good nest egg to be able to go full time. But then it may not move that soon, and so that raises the question of how long I will stay. So there are just lots of uncertainties right now. I finally realized, after I turned in my business plan, that I need to decide what is right for me and use the principle of attraction to draw that into my life. I need to revisit that on a daily basis until I really integrate it into my being.

I took my friend back to Virginia Beach yesterday to fly home. It has been good having her here, but I was torn because I wanted to spend time with her and also wanted and needed to spend more time on class. I'm really excited to have this weekend to clean house and catch up and have some quiet time just for me!

Another hectic week. I will be so glad to have my own VA business so I can put some order in my life. I unexpectedly had to work overtime all day Sunday, and then Monday and Tuesday evenings because of problems with my servers at work. I did manage to convince my boss we need to hire someone else to split off part of my work, but it will have to be approved at the February Trustees meeting for it to happen. That's the same month I'll be finished with the VTP, so maybe that's a good sign? I hope so.
I really wish I could quit and do full time VA practice then, but can't yet.

It was fun to think about how to market myself as a VA. It gives me lots of hope for a bright, happy, successful future. I really think the first client is going to be the hardest. After that I may have so many I'll have to have a VA of my own. That is how projects I start or businesses I have usually go. Once I get into it, it just takes off. I will be so interested to find out more about the registry and also the mentoring program. From what little I know of them now, it seems like the perfect way to get started. I can hardly wait!

My girl friend from Texas flew into Virginia Beach so I drove down Friday to get her to come stay with me for 3 weeks. I will be thrilled to see her and it will be good to have her here, but I really wish I had gotten my business plan completed much sooner than this. It is due the day before I have to drive her back to the airport.

I've spent a lot of time this week thinking about my life and goals and where I am going. Studying the attraction principle has really stirred things up for me. I was letting myself settle into a real rut with my job and my physical health and appearance and relationships, and basically my whole life. I was reasonably (I thought) comfortable and had gotten very complacent. And since nothing was really uncomfortable, I wasn't doing anything to change it for the better either. It all seemed like too much effort. AssistU is shaking my tree! Every week I am challenged to reflect on my life and to stretch and grow to be all that I can be. I wish I had found this program twenty years ago - if it had been possible then. Our draft business plan is due for class tomorrow if we want it to be reviewed. I have been collecting lots of ideas on scraps of paper and lots of articles and sample plans but have not gotten it into a form that is good enough for her to review yet. I thought I was in really good shape with it - but when I started typing it and organizing it I realized that it was going to take a lot more time than I expected. Now I wish I had started typing it as I came across things I wanted to incorporate and then I would have just had to flesh it out and reorganize it some.

Well, I just celebrated my sixtieth birthday. I used to think that was soooo old, and now it seems so young in so many ways. Funny how our perceptions change. My dad called to wish his me, his eldest daughter, a happy birthday and we had a fascinating chat about getting older. He is 85 and still does consulting for the government about 30 hours a week. What an inspiration - except that I hope I don't have to work that long. The good thing about being a VA is I can do it from home and only work the hours I want to, and can do it as long as I am physically and mentally able - which is one of the main reasons I decided to pursue this career. That sounds much better to me - and to him - than his daily commute into DC at age 85!

The class work this week is about attraction. It is really timely since with my birthday I am thinking even more about what I want to attract into my life. It gave me a lot to think about and some different ways to look at what I have in my life now and how I attracted it - even though I might not want to admit that I did.

What a good week this was. Class was really good. And I finished up all my class work for next Wednesday and had some time to relax with friends on Saturday evening. It was very nice for a change, and reminded me again how I need to practice radical self-care. I get so busy with all the other things in my life that I forget to make time for me. That led right into the assignment for the week of listing my tolerations. Boy - were there a lot of those. It was perfect timing, as usual. I realized as I was listing them how many little things there are in my life that are constant nags - like taking the recycling and unopened mail and clutter in my apartment. And they all distract me and suck energy. So this week, as a gift to myself, I am putting systems into place to deal with these things on a regular basis so that I don't have to worry about them all the time. AssistU was right on target again!

I had a revelation today. I have been reading the material for class this week on attraction and realized I am out of integrity. It was an excellent reminder that that is not what I want to attract, but if that is what I put out into the universe that is most certainly what I will get. I had promised to send in my journal every week, and had skipped a couple of weeks, and then still didn't get it sent to Dawn. I have been writing it every week now, but still had not taken the time to send it. That is not who I am or who I want to be, and that was a really difficult thing for me to come to grips with. I realized before I have always had a problem with over promising. I don't do it maliciously - I am a people pleaser and want to make everyone happy all the time even though I know it is unrealistic. Part of that is my inherent nature, and part of it was a learned behavior from early childhood when I became the "mom" in my family because my mother was ill and my father wasn't there. So I learned that behavior very well, and have never changed it.

One of the earlier lessons in the VTP was about under promising and over delivering. That hit a chord then, and still does. So the last several weeks when I have been very busy helping friends and family and coworkers, I was not getting my work done or living up to my agreements with the VTP. I unintentionally over promised and under delivered. What a good lesson for me, once again. But I think I have finally learned it. And also the one about taking care of myself - which is really part of the same lesson. So now I am caught up with my journal and back in integrity, and am excited about what I can attract into my new life.

What a wonderful time it was with my sister. I'm really glad I took the time off to go. She was so happy to have me there and to introduce me to her boss and the head of the US branch of her company, etc. It was a lovely banquet and ceremony and really neat to see my baby sister recognized for something. We had a good time in Niagara Falls too - neither of us had ever been there - and had lots of time to talk. Our Mom is 85 and not doing so well, so that is a concern for us, and arranging her medical care, etc., does take some time away from my VTP time. We did talk about it, and my sis is going to take over that part until I finish training in January - hooray!

I managed to get all caught up on my fieldwork with the hours sitting in the airport and after I got home on Sunday afternoon. That felt good!! Then I got an email from one of my classmates that we were doing a conference call on Sunday night to practice our "elevator speech." And I hadn't even thought about that. Maria was a big help on the phone call - I felt much better after we had tossed around some ideas, and managed to have mine written before class on Wednesday. It was interesting to me how nervous I was reading it in class. It wasn't like I was talking to strangers, after all. My class (5 students) is pretty talkative and we all interact and ask lots of questions, and so I feel like I know them all. But I was still nervous. We each read our blurb for one to two people, and then our blurb for introducing ourselves to a group, and it did get easier each time. It was a huge help to hear what the others had said and helped me refine mine even more. I'm sure I will even further as the classes go along and as I practice it on the way to and from work each day

What a whirlwind couple of weeks this has been between the weekend in PA and having to work over Labor Day weekend because of server problems. Then five days away because my sister was getting an award from her company and they flew both of us to their headquarters for a huge banquet. It was so great to see my little sister win an award. Then we spent 3 days in Niagara Falls and had some "sister time" that was so much fun. It was a good break - but then I had to come home to even more work to do and play catch-up with my class work. And to top it off, while I was out of town we had tons of rain and the siding on my apartment leaked and soaked my carpet - so now I am dealing with mildew. I really am looking forward to an upbeat class on Wednesday! And then a nice quiet weekend next weekend - if it ever gets here.

This was a great week to work on my lists of what I want to be doing, what I definitely don't want to do, etc. Lots of challenges in my day job and I'm definitely learning lots of things I don't want to do! I have got to focus on my elevator speech so I can be comfortable telling people about my new career. It is so difficult for me to market myself - a big challenge there if I want to be successful.

I had the best treat last week! My VTP buddy, Kim Murray, sent me a lovely motivating card and some post-its for my new office, and the sweetest wind chime. It was such a great surprise to come home and find that in my mailbox, especially since I was really being hard on myself for getting behind on the class work and wondering why I ever thought I could find the time or energy to do this. It gave me such a terrific lift to know Kim thought I could do it - and jolted me out of my doldrums and back into gear.

How great to have a 3-day weekend! I did manage to get a lot of my housework done so I could focus on my fieldwork for VTP class. I will miss class this week - my sister's company is flying me out to Ohio to see her receive her 25-year award, and then we are taking a sister vacation to Niagara Falls for a couple of days. I'm looking forward to it but also don't want to get any further behind on my class work.

I am learning so much from the materials for class - it is really great. I felt like I would already know most of it since I have worked forever, but have been very pleasantly surprised about what new things I am learning. And the resources are fabulous - when I take the time to explore all the websites that are given with each lesson and do all the reading assignments, I am just fascinated with it. I can hardly wait to finish class and transition from my full-time job to being a full-time VA.

I met with my SCORE counselors on Tuesday - two of them are sharing me. At first they wondered why in the world I would do something like this when I could go to work for another company or the university when my job ends, and have all the benefits, etc. After I explained everything to them - what I want to do, and how I will find clients, and what I see as the benefits for me - they were sold on the idea. I had told them I couldn't really go full time until next fall - and they were encouraging me to do it sooner than that. They had printed off a sample business plan from their software and had that and some other materials for me about starting a small business in Virginia, etc. It was a very helpful meeting in a lot of ways since I came away with more resources and had a chance to tell someone why I am so excited about this business. It anchored the idea even more. Thanks to AssistU for suggesting them.

I checked out the local SCORE website, that was one of the suggestions, and discovered they had classes. I went to the first one on Saturday on Financing Your New Business. A local CPA taught the workshop and was very knowledgeable about various accounting software and about what we would each need to do for our businesses (there were 5 of us in class - and two of them are prospective clients for me!) It was a 3-hour workshop, and then I talked with her for another hour afterward, and she is now very excited about the VA profession. She is going to help me get a SCORE counselor of my very own - and no charge. What a fabulous service they provide!

Life is continuing to be hectic. My former mother-in-law passed away last weekend, and I am going to her memorial service on Saturday. Her son and I have been divorced over 30 years, but we have stayed in touch since she was my sons' grandmother. I will drive up to DC on Friday after work to meet my sister-in-law, then drive on up to PA with her - it is about 6 hours in all for me each way. It will be interesting to see some of her friends and family I haven't seen in many years. It will also give me a chance to work on my elevator speech since I will be telling all of them what I'm doing now. I realize and appreciate that I am really doing this for me - as part of my self-care. I would feel really bad if I didn't go, and would feel like I'd let my sons down horribly since they want and need me there for support. So even though I really don't have the time, I am going to make the time. It will be a joyful celebration of her healthy and happy 89 years and good to see everyone again. Reading the assignment helped me to realize that.

I didn't find the time to write in my journal last week. Life has been really hectic, and I had to work about 30 hours overtime at my day job to get the new server working correctly. First we had hardware problems, then an electrical storm in the middle of restoring data, and on and on. So glad that is finished now so I can get back to class. And what a great class it is! Desiree is really terrific and has given us some very helpful hints. My classmates ask some very good questions and so we have some interesting discussions too. It is so neat to hear the different perspectives on things since we come from such different backgrounds.

I did have time to get through all the homework. Sometimes that seems like a small miracle with so much else going on in my life right now. I hope it will be easier as it goes along, and I will be more organized and can set aside all the time I need to really check out all the great resources in the VTP manual and in the portal. It will be wonderful to have a 3-day weekend for Labor Day. I am so looking forward to it.

I wasn't nervous tonight at all before the call. I was almost pacing the floor waiting for the minute hand to get to the time for the call. We are going over the assignments but also talking and learning some really good things. And it is really good to hear how everyone else is doing with the program and with their lives. We are all so unique and have such different backgrounds that it adds a lot to the class. I didn't have as many commitments this week so it was easier to get my class work completed - and I even took off most of Saturday and did absolutely nothing. It's the first time I've done that in months, or maybe years?

I am noticing my attitudes are already changing. I am such a people pleaser that I have always put what everyone else before me so I'd help a friend clean house while mine was a mess, or take care of them when they were sick even though I was too. I grew up doing that because my mother was ill, then my parents divorced and I did even more. It never occurred to me there might be a problem with that. I've been learning over the last decade that if I don't at least physically take care of myself I can't take care of anyone else, so have been better about that. There might have been an easier way to learn this than two serious car accidents, but I guess it took that to get through to me. Now I am learning that I have to take care of myself in other ways too, and find a balance between what I do for others and what I do for myself. I am feeling more assertive about protecting some of my time and energy so that I have all I need for the VTP. I even said "no" a couple of times this week - a first for me! Someone asked me to be treasurer of an organization I belong to - and I said no, that I didn't have time and couldn't take on another thing. Then when another group, one I am treasurer of already, decided to set up a lobbying wing and wanted me to do all the organization and paperwork and tax applications, etc., I said "NO". They were shocked since I have always just jumped in and done what needed to be done. Truthfully, so was I! But you know what? The world didn't stop. And I survived it. And it will be easier from now on. I really can do this - set aside time for me and my life and my class and not feel guilty or like I am letting anyone down. They will be fine, and so will I. I love this class!! I am feeling so empowered - at least sometimes I am. But that's a good start. I can hardly wait to see who I am in six months.

I managed to get almost all the first week's assignments completed even though they aren't all due yet. It was a challenge to rearrange other commitments to make the time to do it all. I had to work overtime in my day job a couple of nights since we were installing a new main server on our network, and I have to oversee that and be sure everything is working again. We lost electricity during the installation and had to start over again the next night. Then I had meetings with two of my volunteer organizations - one I'm treasurer of and one I'm secretary of - so that took another evening and a several hours on Sunday. And a person I've been working part-time for wanted me to do some for him and I just couldn't. The week goes so fast!

The class call was good. I am feeling a little more at ease now since I know how the call flows. We do this thing at the end of class where we talk about Wow moments during the week. What a neat idea. I don't usually think that way so it is already shifting my thoughts during the days. I'm also getting more protective of my time - I want to spend as much as possible on the VTP and almost resented the time I had to spend on other things this week. I can hardly wait for the program to be over and really get started in my business so I can schedule my time pretty much the way I want it to get it all in.

Wow, what a relief. The grandkids were really super and watched a movie while I was on the call and didn't fuss or interrupt me a single time. And on the call I got to meet everyone - what a great group! And Desiree, my instructor, seems like a really cool person. I can't believe she is teaching four classes. There are 5 of us in class, and they were all as nervous as I was. It was a little awkward for me to not respond every time someone said something like I normally would on a two-person call, but I'll get used to it. I am really wired about the program. I stayed up half the night doing my reading and homework for the next class. It's going to be an opportunity today with my grandkids for me to remember what it was like raising kids when I was tired from being up all night.

I walked around the box all week and didn't open it. One of the things that saved me was I knew I would be at my son's home babysitting for my grandchildren all this week, so I knew I'd have time to look at it all. I got an email from my buddy -and it turns out I had met her and her daughter at an AssistU chapter picnic last year that I went to with my friend Laura, who was in the VTP at the time. How neat to already have met her.

I have finally opened the box, and it is as all-consuming as I thought it would be. I have just finished reading the first section and can hardly believe that there is an organization built on spiritual principles that is so supportive and nurturing. These are all the principles I've based my life on - and they are all incorporated into a successful business. It is so exhilarating!

As I'm going through the notebook, I am so impressed with the organization and thoroughness of the material. It will be very easy to follow and also to know what is required.

Ohmigosh - I just read that there is homework to do before the Orientation call. I need to do that today. I am nervous about the call - lots of butterflies - and keep telling myself it is excitement instead. It's almost working.

My books for the VTP just arrived. I am excited yet at the same time apprehensive. It's almost time to begin classes and I had so many projects I wanted to complete before then - and I haven't touched the surface. I want to open the box but know if I do that I'll want to dig in and that I won't do the things I have to get done before I start on class.