Molly Warren's Diary

I'm Molly Warren, a graduate of the AssistU Virtual Training Program living in North Carolina. Here's where you can read my diary of experiences with the VTP and AssistU while I was in training.

:: March 10, '03 ::

The box of information has arrived. Do I wish to open it now and just glance at the materials or should I wait till I have some solid time to open the box and REALLY look at the materials? Well, I waited.. .and I am glad. There is a lot of material, especially for someone who has been out of college for over 20 years.

Very interesting stuff!! I can see that I will be challenged by this training program and I am looking forward to it. Of course, I can say that because I have not yet begun the training and the homework schedule. Everything does have a positive attitude in this box — I sure hope it stays that way. After reading the beginning chapters of the 800 page training manual, I know I am doing the right thing for me. HERE WE GO!!!!!!!

Started VA training with my orientation a few days ago. I have to admit I was nervous. Since this was the beginning of something new and exciting, I thought the worst that could happen was that I would lose my nerve and not talk during orientation. Well, I talked a lot and listened a lot. To finally have real people's voices detailing their current lives and what they wanted out the VA program was astonishing. My trainer is Myra Kitson and the class consists of three people, including me. Talk about one on one attention!!!

The time seemed to slip away and before I knew it, the class was over. I now realize that I WANT to be in this class and absorb as much as I can. Of course, it helped that we all shared a common denominator - in this case - we either live now or have lived in the Midwest. It is very interesting to have a positive start point for any class. I know I am going to enjoy the process, learn about myself and have challenges. Thinking outside of the box will require some time, but I believe I am up to the task.

It seems like time goes so fast between classes. My class with Myra Kitson is on Wed. night and I feel like one class is over, do the homework and the constant thinking of homework, present and future, and then the next class is ready to go. I think last week's class has really gotten me in the learning mode. I know my weakness lies in technology and the constant stream of new software and how it applies to me and my future. Luckily, each section in the learning manual gives great resources on how to educate yourself. Yet, in this crazy society of being always on the go, it is a real effort to block out some solid time to go to those resources and work with them. I know that I need large blocks of time to really work on specific items. My number-one priority is to schedule that time for myself - I know it is worth the effort, time and money for my future. Thinking and prioritizing for myself is a challenge, but speaking with my classmates, trainer and other VA's, I realize that it is the right thing to do.

Whoa!! Just when you think you have your mind full of ideas — you discover that there is much more information to absorb. I suppose in the beginning, the VA training is geared toward general, free-flowing ideas, but after reading the material for Chapter 2 & 3, you realize very fast that you need to pinpoint your ideas into concrete actions. During this process, you think about a strong team that will enable you to make a very successful practice. Attorneys, accountants, computer experts and strong voiced friends are just the beginning of your team.

I now realize that Assist U wants to make sure that you are successful in lots of ways and they are determined that you put in the time and energy to make intelligent business decisions. I have to admit that this process was making me nervous and out of my comfort zone. Yet, at the same time, there is support to help you.

I used the Coaching session with Stacy for students and I highly recommend it. Everyone has her own thoughts and experiences and is more than willing to share them with you. Coaching is a very positive step toward attaining the skills to reach your goal. Try it whenever you get the chance!!!!

Now, my To-Do-List is not so scattered, but still has lots of ideas and thoughts crossed out and replaced with more thoughts. I just need to keep sharpening my pencil.

It is a quiet Sun. night at my house. Very unusual — but rather nice. My husband is out of town for an early Mon. morning business meeting. My two sons are rather quiet - perhaps that should be a warning sign for me, but I am ignoring that sign for now.

I know that I have a lot of fieldwork to do for Class 4 but am enjoying the quiet and letting my mind drift. Tomorrow will be Monday morning and I will get in gear then.

Why is it in this busy world that we do not let our minds wander and dream about things, places, people and goals? Is it because we are afraid that people will think that we are "lazy?" Why do we always care about other people's opinions, but we don't take the time to understand and validate our own thoughts???? I have been using my thought processor in my brain more in the last 4 weeks than I can remember. I remember when my sons were just babies and for the first two years or so it seemed like I lived in a mommy fog. (Just like now — some days I feel like I am in learning fog) At the time I didn't realize it - but looking back, I know I tried to do everything by the book — and guess what — I truly believe that God gave me two healthy, intelligent, good looking sons (OK — I am biased) and I was just in right place at the right time to receive those blessings.

I threw out the books — because I am not an instructional type of person - and because the results are always different from the books endings. Life is not always easy on a daily basis, but the ability to look back, smile, and laugh at old stories is priceless. So if the VTP has taught me anything in the last 4 weeks - it is to learn the material, process it, use it in my lifestyle and have a great sense of humor... Remember tomorrow will be Monday for all of us...

Do you ever get overloaded with information and finally shut down? I know I do this because it is a form of personal protection. The last few weeks at VTP, I felt like I was rolling along rather well. I did the fieldwork on time and enjoyed classes and the conversations in class.

Then the brick wall hit. . .

I decided to participate in the Newbie SIG (Special Interest Group) monthly phone call. My two classmates were on line as well as approximately 8 other women in the VTP. The major difference was the amount of time that the other VTP's had been in class. Some had just completed 16 classes, some had completed 11 classes and I had just completed 5 classes.

What a difference. I felt like an alien. This call centered around marketing techniques for VA's. The majority of the women already had a website, business cards, and a client or two. Many of the women were actively involved in their local Chamber of Commerce and talked about all their responsibilities regarding their community.

I finished the call and sat back and wondered "What the heck am I doing?" Yes, I had completed my fieldwork, but had I really incorporated all my work and thoughts into my OWN business? Don't think so — and I have to admit I was scared and nervous.

Am I really capable of owning and operating my own business?

I sat down tonight and made a master list of all the decisions that I have researched or talked about in class — guess what? The list was not as long as I had predicted in my mind and I knew that several items on the list were very time consuming, involved a lot of thought-processing actions and I was not in as bad as shape as I thought.

I am a list writer — I need to see things in black and white. Yet, I find myself under pressure and thinking the worst. I know it is that BALANCE thing — for me, I have to practice slow breathing, write down the important things and remember that the sun will rise tomorrow. (If not in my neighborhood, somewhere else.)

Time flies... no matter what you do or what you think you should do. It seems like the last two months have flown by, but I am not sure I have made any indents to starting a successful VA practice.

With lots of family commitments, like my son's Confirmation and soccer games, my husband's traveling schedule and school events — the time keeps on going. I have read all the required readings and done the necessary fieldwork for my VTP — but I am still trying to soak it all in. My mind realizes that it is a STRONG possibility that I can handle this large responsibility, but some days my heart and emotions are still trying to get their hands wrapped around the notion of "being a business owner."

Support from my trainer and classmates helps a lot. When I am done with my class on Wed. night, I feel like I can do anything. By Sunday or Monday, my negative thoughts keep creeping in and I am not so sure of myself.

One of the required readings details the parts of your life that you need to take control of, simplify and enjoy. It is a excellent book and I am trying to do the necessary steps to improve the quality of my life. I have to admit — that it is not easy. I would strongly suggest that people read this book " then read it again and do the suggested exercises.

There is an endless supply of information that help people in their journey toward a VA practice — for me, it is just picking the right information and going forward. My mind says to start taking the small steps needed to make the long journey, but some days all I can do is shuffle.

I have been doing a lot of marketing research for my class as while as bouncing ideas around in my head. During the day, how many times do you think you are marketed to? Four, forty or four hundred? I thought I would just really concentrate on a single day and pay close attention to the theme of marketing. It is easy to pick up a newspaper and look at the ad's — but really look them. Every single page of a newspaper has an ad (even the front page if your area allows a business to stick a small sticker near the headline). The television has very specific ads and even television shows, such as Oprah, have authors, actors, or performers that are promoting their products. So what is marketing to me?

—

a situation or person who is positive, confident, and easy to speak with in regards to ideas, concepts or marketing products. It is definitely not a person who tries and tries again to sell me on whatever the product is with no regards to how it will effect me.

Ever try to walk past a perfume salesperson at Christmas time in the mall? In order not to be sprayed — you have to walk a mile out of their way!!! All they want to do is spray and expose you to the product , no personal interaction is required of them. I think it is a very cold way of attracting potential customers.

I have really enjoyed the VTP manual in suggesting ways to market your VA business. There are three general areas that deal with your security zones. Since all of us have different security zones, the marketing ideas are a great starting point. I enjoy talking face-to-face and writing. My starting points for marketing my business. However, I realize that these are just starting points and that I need to expand those areas or move into totally different areas. It is nice to have other people in your VTP class to bounce ideas off.

I know that I can feel very *anxious* about marketing my business, but I have to take the time to relax and remember what marketing is to me on a daily basis. If I feel good about it, will other people feel the same ? If I am pushy and forward won't other people feel the same? Do I like dealing with people who give you their time and attention or people who just want a quick buck and do not want to waste their time on explaining the product to you? Think about the factors that appeal to you. . . Don't you think that is what marketing is all about????

I just celebrated my twenty-second wedding anniversary — and it made think me of the first year of marriage. It was very rocky for me — in that I am a very independent person who had to learn how to live with another person. My husband is a great guy. His parents raised him different from my parents — different, not better or not worse — just different. The blending of ideas was a major concept for me to absorb and deal with. I must have learned how to do it because I am with my original husband and have two great sons. Why did I bring these ideas up? I think that during the VTP course I have had to think outside my normal boundaries and adjust. I have had to be open to new ideas and concepts - some may work, some may not — but I like being exposed to the ideas!! My husband is a terrific looking guy (still is!!) and I was attracted to him in the very beginning - but if I had not been attracted to him in the college years, do I think I would have taken the time to get to know him? Probably not. So why would I want to take my time now (much more structured than during my college years) and spend it with people who I don't feel attracted to? That is professionally speaking, not physically speaking.

After reading and discussing Chpt 13 & 14 in VTP — it dawned on me (OK — hit me on the side of the head)… is my time just as important and precious as everyone one else's? I want to work in a partnership that is equal for the client and me. If I want to *work* for someone else, I have plenty of corporations to chose from. I don't want to — I want to respect myself, value my time, use my energies and knowledge in a positive environment as well as have my clients do the same.

If you had a talking mirror next to your side of the bed - what would it say every night before you closed your eyes? What do you want it to say?

It has been a real eye-opening event for me to realize that you can have that kind of life for yourself. That you can go to sleep at night with a good *feeling* about your day and how you handled that day.

Don't sell yourself or ideas short!! Take the same 24 hours, that I have, or that your client has or your mother-in-law has and use it the way that you want to. . .

Dreaming is great — but what the *real world* stuff? How did you learn to cook? To read novels? To mow and fertilize your yard? To water-ski? If you are like me, you just went ahead and tried it. I know I made many mistakes, but I still kept trying. Of course, it helps if you have some directions to read. I am not the world's great cook, my yard is just so-so but I love to water ski. During the VTP training, there are LOTS of good suggestions for how to set up your business, handle marketing, talk with potential clients, and make your life and business a success. I consider this information to be my directions. Do I think I will follow them to the *t*? No, but I will consider how they can help me. I have been involved in VTP for about 16 weeks and I have admit that the VA community is very strong and very knowledgeable. Do I get scared sometimes — thinking about building a business? Yes — but I do take comfort in knowing that asking a question or lots of questions is the only way that I will learn. I know I will make mistakes, I know my clients will make mistakes - but I really do learn from my mistakes (some more than others) and that tomorrow is another day to learn from and appreciate.

Humor is the best medicine for me. I really believe that most daily events happen for a reason and I like finding the silver-lined laughing idea. If I ponder too long on a idea and don't act, time will still go by — but I have lost a chance to laugh at myself or laugh with my friends.

Ah. . Ah. . Ah — Time goes so fast. . . It is hard for me to believe that I started VTP in March and that my final exam is scheduled for early August. I have learned so much *everything*.

I have learned about myself. Nothing is impossible - keep dreaming and dreaming. Make sure that I take that first step, then the second step and keep going toward my dream. Life is full of dreams and never stop learning how to achieve those dreams.

I have learned *a lot* about the technology world. I was scared in the beginning - thinking that everyone knew more about computers, software, and palm pilots than me. Well, most people do:) But I just keep learning more and more each day.

I learned to keep asking questions and not just sit back and be a scary cat. If you don't get the answers you desire, keep asking. Someone knows somewhere!!!

I learned to trust my instincts. Somewhere from being a little girl to a woman, that special talent is lost. It is so nice and comforting to explore that part of your life again. It takes time to learn to talk to yourself (not in public or out loud) and explore those feelings.

I learned that I am a complex person. Lots of components go into making me. Spiritual, mental and physical attributes re-create me every day.

Never give up!! It is so easy to say, but so hard to act on. I am very thankful that I choose to take the VTP and that AssistU chose to accept me as a student.

Really think about your life -if you are 20, 30, 40 or 50 years old — it is *still* your life and you get to choose how you want to enjoy it.